Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
