that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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