He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize