There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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