He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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