i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
