the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
