stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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