I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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