Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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