You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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