I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize