i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
how does that bad decision feel?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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