Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
