i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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