I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
