STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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