All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
