when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
