I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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