dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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