We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
