I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
