i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
