a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
