You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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