so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
