He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
