he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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