you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
