I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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