this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think my moral compass just broke
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
