he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
