do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my being single is dangerous.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
