Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
