Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
