can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize