Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
