haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
