WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
