i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
