my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
the condom got lost in my hair
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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