i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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