My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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