Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
