I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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