Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
zippers are such a cool invention
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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