I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
