and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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