I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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