He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
