hell yes lets make some ravioli
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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