pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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