Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
