She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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