i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
